Sunday, March 01, 2009

on failing and trying

a thought i got from this sunday's reflection:

"i've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, i've lost almost 300 games. twenty six times i've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. i've failed over and over and over in my life. and that's why i succeed!"

-- michael jordan



all we remember are his stats:

six-time nba champion (1991-1993, 1996-1998)
mvp (1988, 1991, 1992, 1996, 1998)
ten-time all nba first-team designation
ten scoring tiles, three steals titles
a finalist to be inducted in the basketball hall of fame
and many others...

yet, nobody remembers or cared about the number of times he failed, just what he achieved.

while people are driven by success, and employ the necessary means to get there, this drive would seem to blind us of the fact that we are not born perfect. and so comes the shattering feelings when failures and disappointments surface.

we are either consumed by it...
feeling wrecked and hopeless, viewing life as difficult, harsh and unfair.

or, we get up from it...
and see that mistakes and failures are means of improvement, stepping stones for success. michael jordan would surpass "himself" each day by constant practice, a.k.a. self discipline.

this example leads us to a particular attitude in this season of lent: self discipline.

we don't view the lenten season as a schedule of the Church, nor just a reminder of the paschal mystery. it is an opportunity for us to reflect, to look upon our weaknesses, our failures, our sinfulness, and develop in us that self-discipline; to overcome our failures in order to share into the success of Christ, His resurrection.


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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

twists in heroes

heroes season 3 episodes reveals a big surprise!

imagine this: sylar becomes the good guy while peter petrelli embraces the dark side. how could a murderous, megalomaniac monster become a hero, while a compassionate, self-sacrificing lad turn out to be the enemy? with these twists and turns, the overlapping events from different timelines engage me to anticipate episode after episode of this series.

yet, the lessons are clear. no man is born evil. a person who is bad now is not determined to be bad forever, inasmuch as we cannot expect a good person to stay good always. we can't be too quick to judge.

i got fascinated with sylar's and peter's character development. what made sylar to be the villain is his tremendous hunger or urges to know more, to learn more and to have more power. to attain this, he easily gives in through a quick fix of murderous intent, slaying one superpower individual after learning and taking their abilities. eventually, this same insatiable hunger or urges is acquired by peter petrelli, and he now tread the same path sylar took. while sylar takes a huge amount of struggle to control these urges, peter petrelli allows this as a personal instinct.

our hunger or urges to know more, to learn more and to have more power exhibits our inclination to sin. it is this stuff that makes us evil.

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

forever

today highlights the perpetual profession of 15 salesians.
to commit oneself in perpetuity is no joke.
it even goes against the modern pluralist trend where people are confronted with so many options in life. consumerism and materialism allure us to pick out the best, to choose what leads, which paradoxically confronts us to the truth that we could not really make a choice.
for this reason, people nowadays find it difficult to commit.
we all want everything to ourselves.
and so why commit?
why choose one when there are many?

commitment is love.
love goes against that mentality of taking everything for ourselves.
love gives up the self for one thing.
when we commit, we lose ourselves, we lose the full control of ourselves.
we do it because we value its importance.
simply, we love.
we commit and we love.
we love and we commit.
love and commitment are options taken interchangeably.

i pray that i may never lose this love.
i pray that on that day when i would offer myself fully,
when i am about to commit myself in perpetuity,
i'd be loving God more deeply as it would ever grow each day.
yet, for sure, His love never lessens.
i pray that i may love the Lord as He deserves.

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Saturday, March 29, 2008

pain and beauty

“life is about change.
sometimes it’s painful. sometimes it’s beautiful.
but most of the time it’s both.”

- Lana Lang (Smallville)

it's a reality i find a difficulty...
...of accepting.
days from now, life is about to change.
this seeming monotony which i first found to be deafening will soon break its silence.
and i find it a great weight in my heart.
change...
at times i want it, welcome it...
at times i shun it, abhor it, especially when i seem to like the balance.
yet it's the most objective reality there is.
things, people and experiences, even structures, i hate to admit, i would surely miss.
yet they would remain to be a part of me wherever i go.
change...
it comes in various forms.
either you change or i change or situations change,
many times it's the interplay of two or all.
either people leave...
or you leave...
either people grow...
or you grow...
change...
see there's both pain and beauty in it...
'coz that's life...
and this is the life i have come to embrace,
along with it are pain and beauty
... an inexplicable combination or a paradoxical twin.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Christ's Passion is God's Love

something that struck me in today's good friday liturgy:

why do we celebrate Christ's passion?
why celebrate the pain, suffering and the very death of Christ?

it's not the pain, suffering and the death of Christ we are celebrating...
... it's the LOVE of God
... for this reason He embraced all these.
... i dare not ask who am i to deserve all these.
... yet He continues to love and He continues to suffer for our sake, for my sake.
... such LOVE could never be surpassed, except by Him who surpasses His own love every day.

that's why no matter how small or big my difficulty is, or no matter how dark the world may appear to me, my life would remain a "blessing" for the simple reason that i am loved.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

mad about series

i spent so much time doing this…
after the pressures of “de universa,” i relaxed a bit by getting back to some of the tv series I’d like to watch. i was made to reflect all the other tv series I have “wasted” my time with. it was not really a waste. these I consider as part of sequence of events:

PRISON BREAK
this would be have to be my much loved action-drama series t date. i first encountered this last year, after the de universa of the brothers ahead of us. I am impressed by the storyline. i am amazed of its sustaining suspense... getting me so addicted, inducing me to crave episodes after episodes. scofield’s character-personality is remarkable. i never thought that such a personality disorder (but i would rather term it as gift) or rather a person with a low latent inhibition could be so cool. i could somehow resonate or at least relate to the character, not that i have low latent inhibition, but i tend to be analytical while considering the bigger picture or the grand scheme. like scofield, i live on strategies. i was, however, overwhelmed by what they are against, “the company.” whenever i would watch this, i would easily get affected. i would at times feel headaches or a pains in my chest as i feel like so involved in the story. however, what is most painful or most difficult to endure is that “waiting” like when you are hanged for a long time and wondering what would the next episode be. this has got to be one of the downside of the “series,” it doesn’t seem to end.

LOST
before i knew PRISON BREAK, this headed my list. i am astounded by the style. i was enthralled by the mystery as the survivors of the plane crash find their way on the mysterious island. it presented a somewhat parallelism of two planes of existence: (1) their experience of being actually lost in an island; and (2) their experience of being lost in their own lives. their survival in the island matched an opportunity to confront their past, to make sense of their lives, and to embrace conversion. it tackles profoundly the behavioral, sociological, psychological and mystical aspect of life. yet, the island is enveloped with a cloud of mystery, still an enigma in my mind. the plot or the story is non-linear; the viewer is left to make the connections. while watching episodes after episodes, you get to feel that you are filling the gaps. watching this let’s you feel like playing a jigsaw puzzle. i laud those who have conceptualized this. the i'm currently finishing season 3.

HEROES
this is another impressive action series as it brings out that child in me from the past. i am not sure, if all of us, when we were young and got introduced to many superheroes, that we desired to have such superpowers. i did. and somehow, until now, i tend to wish to have them. “but be careful what you wish for,” they say. this is precisely the struggle of the characters. while some of us want to have superpowers, at least a greater majority of them do not want them. each character possesses a unique ability. from where these powers came from is still a mystery. it's not the glory of the heroes that are highlighted here. it's basically about the numerous struggles they undergo. while superman sings, "it's not easy to be me," and spiderman's uncle ben warns, "from great power comes great responsibility;" this series simply points out that it is damned hard to be different. while for me, reflecting on it further, it emphasizes the uniqueness and giftedness of every person, that no one is born a "junk." here we highlight the human dignity.


CHARMED
it’s the gorgeous halliwel sisters and the “magical” fantasy theme of the series that made me anticipate this series. it presented diverse conflicting themes of the story: how to balance their magical lives and their ordinary everyday lives; the burden and struggle in keeping their destinies secret from the outside world that would create tensions on friendships, workplace, and lovel ives; the forbidden loves between piper and the whitelighter and between phoebe and the half-demon; and the eventual death of prue. the latter episodes are not as captivating as the initial ones. especially when we get to learn that the creator and executive producer constance burge has left the show to executive producer brad kern. that’s when the structure of the show turned into “the demon of the week” plot. The concept of the “power of three” highlights the merit of synergy, love, unity. Such gifts are ordained in service to others.


DAWSON’S CREEK
how would you deal the situation when you fall in love with your best friend or your childhood friend? this, perhaps, captures my attention to be an avid viewer of this teenage-drama series. as the series progresses, young people are found to be entangled into a complex web of love relationships: joey loves dawson who loves jen. jen, however, is afraid of commitment. joey realizing that dawson loves jen, seeks refuge to pacey. pacey eventually falls in love with joey who is still in love with dawson. pacey confronts dawson who loves jen but still is protective of joey, and so on… and the million-dollar question of pacey to dawson: “who would it be? the blond or the brunette?” more complications and issues arise as the series further progress. the series relevantly captured teenage viewers as they tackled relevant teenage issues. in fact, it simply revolved into the agonizing life-decisions of teenagers which is not really about morality or practicality, but simply, that is. yet, i feel that the series provided insufficient background (historically and psychologically) as to how, why and what moved these teenagers to take such course of actions in their life-decisions.

PARTY OF FIVE
picture this: both parents died in a car-crash accident. all five children eventually became orphans. it was up to the somewhat irresponsible 24-year old charlie to take charge and care for his younger siblings. to support the family, charlie took over the family’s business (restaurant), thus the start of his conversion. yet while charlie deals with his own issues, the other siblings had their own woes. this series is not only a struggle of coping up with the loss of parents, but of growing up together as a family.


ROSWELL
this is another teenage drama-series i used to watch, but packaged with a different setting. the town of roswell in new mexico has been identified with alien presences. four-alien human hybrids have been sent to earth as everyday teenagers to wait for the day so that they would return to their planet to save their race. but while on earth, their battles are everyday struggles that normal teenagers face. eventually, as the story unfolds, their struggle is more than that of a normal teenager… as aliens they are being hunted, by who or should i say by what… i haven’t finished this series yet.


ALLY MCBEAL
the theme song , searching my soul, perhaps, encapsulates the point of the series. the protagonist, obviously a woman, single, and a lawyer in her thirties, eventually ended up working with a classmate’s firm. while being introduced to her fellow associates, she finds that her high school and college love partner was not only working at her new firm and that she also learned that he is married. i find this series not only hilarious but weird. there are a lot of lunacies in it. in fact, each character manifested his or her own “insanity.” could this series be affirming and tolerating of our own inanities? yet it’s about life searching. what does it take for one to be happy and fulfilled?



DOOGIE HOWSER, MD

i think I was in my fourth or fifth grade in my elementary years when i began watching this series. I was fascinated by the thought of a 16-year old teenager as a doctor. i was not really religious of watching it, for I could not relate to its theme. but I understood the conflict of his age: his youthful years and his professional experience.


FRIENDS
this sit-com amuses me even until now. i don’t know if the plot is going somewhere. i am not even sure if there is a plot. all I know is that it presents a clique between chandler, ross, joey, monica, phoebe, and rachel, all having their own oddity. they would talk about almost everything from relationships to work to marriage to one’s own insanity. yet the message is clear. friends are there for one another, and are willing to accept us as who w

e are.

7TH HEAVEN
i remember the lenten season of the year 2001 when they have featured in studio 25 a marathon of episodes of this series. while i was still in the dark about my vocation path, this series have inclined me towards married life, raising a family of my own. while watching this series, i imagine and wonder how i would raise my own
family. the theme of this drama-series deals a moral or controversial issue that the family encounters. The family was headed by a protestant minister, no wonder why the theme is of that inclination. i learned a lot of values watching this series. it stresses the importance of a family in one’s life.

LOIS AND CLARK
we know the usual plot and story of superman. but this series focuses on superman’s daily events at metropolis and his romantic affairs with lois lane. i really am drawned and amused by lois lane’s character (played by teri hatcher) in this series. the series present an effective chemistry between the two. at the time I was watching I believed that i am beyond my playful and childhood stage as i got to be more interested with their love affairs rather than the superman actions – there’s really not much in this series.

SMALLVILLE
i am about to start to watch this series and so i could not comment much on this. the plot follows the adventures of young clark kent’s life in the town of smallville at kansas. I expect a lot of good stuffs from this.


MACGYVER
this is one of the earlier action series i was looking forward to watch when i was in my elementary years. angus macgyver is a freelance secret agent who would rather use his brains rather than any other weaponry to solve desperate problems. for each episode, i was looking forward to his macgyver methods, using his knowledge on chemistry and physics. what is fascinating is that he would make use of ordinary common items or elements such as duct tapes, a swiss knife, chewing gum to create stuffs that would help him in his tasks. in my admiration, i would imitate, and worse, reinvent such macgyverisms. but instead of building and saving, i tend to wreck and destroy stuffs. this series moves one to love science. it is pro-science and anti-violence, a positive way of looking at action themes.

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Saturday, March 15, 2008

on yesterday's forum for discernment about the zte-nbn scandal

yesterday we attended a forum for discernment regarding the zte-nbn scandal at mhc shrine at paranaque with fr. archie intengan,sj as the speaker. it ended at about 10:30 late in the evening. i received a very striking remark from a priest after the forum, "were you able to find the truth?" i could only grin at this sarcasm.

obviously, fr. intengan is inclined to the administration's side. yet, it was not a waste of time to attend the forum. it all the more enhanced the validity of my reading of the events. i may not adhere to the convictions and motives of lozada, but i still believe in his testimony. it's inconceivable for me for him to have planned all these. i was also intrigued by the presentation of the wiretapped conversations between lozada and de venecia that were now available in the internet, the youtube and other blogsites. if indeed these were all true, how were these apprehended. the fact that these could be apprehended, it would be possible that anyone of us could be wiretapped. if we would be regarded as the "enemy," it's not surprising that our conversations be recorded and guarded. where is that right of privacy that is enshrined in our constitution?

for all we knew, we thought the speaker was only fr. intengan. we never thought that asec. ricky saludo would defensively present the side of the administration hrough this forum, initiating with a statement that goes something like, "90% of what fr. intengan had said is new to me as i have just heard now." come on, an outsider has more knowledge and insights rather than somebody from the inside? then this is proved further how, during the question and answer portion, he was so uptight in defending. he strongly asserted how this administration has been seriously fighting corruption. it was a good slap on the face in that argument when somebody asked something like, "if the adminsitration is serious about fighting corruption, then why they have saved erap from conviction." his response: (1) there are noble clamor, also on the part of the church, for erap to be set free, (2) he's beyond 70 years old. i could only laugh at this superficial and insufficient response.

i pity, those church workers who attended and who were easily swayed by their propaganda. they admitted that they first believed lozada and eventually shifted to discrediting him just because of the wiretapped conversations and the contrary version of the administration, while attacking the credibility of lozada.

i am not pro-lozada. i am pro-truth. and the truth is that corruption is rampant and prevalent in this administration, no matter how they would deny it. and the people know this. and the government would challenge us, why don't we file a case? they would always ask for evidences. where is the evidence? would somebody corrupting leave an evidence? would somebody asking for a "lagay" ask for an official receipt? and what if there are no evidence? then, they are clean!?!

i agree with fr. intengan at one point. we need a social reform. but the question is: where and how would this start? we would often clamor, "let's change the system. let's reform the society." i never thought that the system or the society has grown to be "beings" greatly paralyzing our lives. yet what makes up the system or the society are the people. the individuals. we. and let's take it more personally, "i."

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

last day of catechesis: no catechesis

i have prepared well. i was planning to bring laptop, karaoke, and make the most of this last day of catechesis class. to our dismay, there was none. i really don't want to end our class like that. i've been pondering on other possibilities, other days, it seems that this was really the last and opportune moment to gather them.

almost all of my student passed and are about to graduate this april (except for the 4 who had to stay behind because of backlog subjects). they have invited me for their graduation. it's a pity i couldn't come because it's in conflict with our scheduled annual retreat.

i handle 70 students, although 20 to 30 in average attend my class, considering it's scheduled at 1 PM at the most unholy hour of the day. according to them, they are one of the most notorious sections in the graduating class.



i would normally arrive in class at 12:45 PM, and i would not find any single soul in the classroom. it's very seldom when i meet students ahead of me, learning after that they had to go home for lunch yet.

at times, their last period of class in the morning would extend until 12:30 PM or somtimes beyond more. this would eat up my catechesis time. they had to go home to eat their lunch. some would skip my class because they want to sleep. some do not really want to attend at all.

i would observe that the few who regularly attend my class found in their conscience my efforts of being with them.

for the whole year i could say that we have only met for more or less 10 meetings (that would mean two and a half months regular class of one hour a week). i am supposed to discuss to them the 10 commandments. we only reached the fourth.

yet despite all these, i really enjoyed this year of catechesis. more than they have learned from me, i believe that i have learned a lot from them. i am not sure if all the things i have taught them would sink into them, or at least produce a minimal effect. but that is beyond my control. i would have to allow God's grace to work as i tried so hard to plant in them the seeds of the love of God.

yet, i have learned a lot from them. this experienced formed in me a different catechist compared form the previous years. i never scolded them. i never got angry at them. i learned how to understand their situation. i learned to become patient. i learned how to get down to their level. i learned how to reach out to them. i learned a lot from them personally as some would spontaneously open their life to me. i learned that what they long for: a friend who doesn't label, somebody on their side. i may not have captured all, though i really tried, but i have learned how to capture some hearts.

students in public schools, especially those belonging to the worse section are often neglected and labeled. these are the ones who needed more attention and appreciation. concretely, this experience allowed me to understand our option for the poor and marginalized. it takes a lot from me. i am a salesian, and this has to be lived by.

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Saturday, March 01, 2008

what could be an option???

aware of the political state of our country and yesterday's interfaith rally in makati, i find myself questioning what could be the best option for the problem. i don't think that people power is the answer, nor the resignation of gma is the key. assuming the quest for truth and transparency has been achieved (which i find it hard to believe to happen), what next?

i hope that each one of us derive a very important and personal lesson in our social situation... what that is take to be an honest and responsible citizen?

few days back i have watched lozada's speech in a mass at baclaran church. it struck me that in the midst of our review for the comprehensive exams, he tackled the idea of "evil." we remember neri allegedly calling the president "evil" which he eventually denied of saying that in a press conference. people are clamoring to fight for "evil." lozada stressed a beautiful remark that "evil," as he have learned from his theology, "is the absence of good." he thus challenged everyone that,instead of fighting against evil, we must fill our hearts with goodness. a thundrous applause followed suit.

this is the call for all of us. we must fill our hearts with goodness and love.
this is not really something new.
we have learned this from our parents.
we have learned this from school.
our faith and the bible teaches this.
we know this by heart.
we just really have to act on it...
we just simply have to make it happen.

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Friday, February 22, 2008

tales about the coffee



i am amused and overwelmed how this coffee theme get to be associated with me especially on the occasion of my birthday. please allow me to explain.

it all started during christmas vacation, when eson fell in love with a koreanovela that prompted him to buy a dvd for the complete season of "coffee prince." he narrated to us the sleepless nights he endured just to finish the series before coming back to the seminary last january.

i would attest that he really fell in love with the story (in the minimal sense) that he would keep on narrating the synopsis and almost the whole plot of the story. one sunday, he brought the dvd to the seminary.

another significant incident leading to this was that "blessing" when our bro. gene had an appendectomy. i first volunteered to attend to him at the hospital. eson and i were fighting over the slot of attending to gene for some personal motives. that night was the first time i saw an episode of the coffee prince. and frankly, i really liked it.

after gene's discharge from the hospital, i get to be more curious and i asked eson if we could watch the serie. practically, there were now three of us so engrossed watching the koreanovela, with bro. jm joining and "kilig to the bones". hehehe...



without knowing or intending, the coffee bonded us together... i guess nobody else could relate, perhaps except our cook, since only the three of us have finished the story. and now our mouths are filled with "coffee" both in the literal and figurative sense.

indeed, the coffee prince has brought a lot of positive effects... that would include our inspiration and zeal to study more intensely, more passionately. it served as a break from our intellectual routine -- perhaps a saving grace for keeping our sanity intact.

i don't really drink coffee, but this "coffee prince" made me a regular taker. i am not sure what would be the further consequences of this.

and so, i feel that, when both eson and jm (my groupmates in the human formation tea) organized and prepared my birthday celebration, it's a party for the three of us... hehehe....

i really appreciate and enjoyed the experience of bringing "coffee prince" into the postnovitiate and transforming the refectory into the coffee shop. but what i most value are their translated acts of love and appreciation for my person, which i received as a "sent message" from them.
thanks, guys.

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Friday, December 07, 2007

Have You Had Any Complaints Lately?

I did have... until I've read this...























We get to realize then that we tend to focus on our pain that we forget or we neglect to realize all the graces and blessings that we are now reaping.

Lord, this is really embarassing... after all these realizations... and I cannot but praise and give you thanks. Amen. +

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About me

brodiz

Location:
Calamba, Laguna, Philippines

I am a pilgrim by life's occupation, an accountant by bachelor's degree, a Tarlaqueño by place of birth, a Salesian by specific vocation, a teacher by profession, a student by formation, a writer by passion, a youth minister by life's mission, a son of God... My Philosophy of Life: "To be is to become" "To be is to hope"

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