Chronicles of the Daily Grind

the day of my exodus comes closer now. feelings of nostalgia and sadness are starting to overcome me.i am the first to leave the postnovitiate... the haven, my home. barely two days to go and i haven't packed my things yet.a greater portion of me doesn't want to leave. but this is not a separation anxiety about the place and my comfort zones.this is about holding onto the people i treasure, the persons i have learned to love. they will surely be missed. i know it's not the end of the world. we'll still be meeting each other again some time. yet, the postnovitiate journey and the everyday encounter with them as a community will soon end. i don't think we'll ever be assigned together again into another community.



surely, you'll be missed!

i have found a "home" in you. leaving the postnovitiate doesn't mean leaving "home."
the jingle of the radio station 97.9 home radio is correct:
"home is where you place my heart."
you will always be in my heart.
wherever i may be, i would carry this "home" with me.

God Bless!

Labels: formation, personal, postnovitiate

Posted by brodiz at 6:10 PM | Permalink | Comments

yesterday we attended a forum for discernment regarding the zte-nbn scandal at mhc shrine at paranaque with fr. archie intengan,sj as the speaker. it ended at about 10:30 late in the evening. i received a very striking remark from a priest after the forum, "were you able to find the truth?" i could only grin at this sarcasm.

obviously, fr. intengan is inclined to the administration's side. yet, it was not a waste of time to attend the forum. it all the more enhanced the validity of my reading of the events. i may not adhere to the convictions and motives of lozada, but i still believe in his testimony. it's inconceivable for me for him to have planned all these. i was also intrigued by the presentation of the wiretapped conversations between lozada and de venecia that were now available in the internet, the youtube and other blogsites. if indeed these were all true, how were these apprehended. the fact that these could be apprehended, it would be possible that anyone of us could be wiretapped. if we would be regarded as the "enemy," it's not surprising that our conversations be recorded and guarded. where is that right of privacy that is enshrined in our constitution?

for all we knew, we thought the speaker was only fr. intengan. we never thought that asec. ricky saludo would defensively present the side of the administration hrough this forum, initiating with a statement that goes something like, "90% of what fr. intengan had said is new to me as i have just heard now." come on, an outsider has more knowledge and insights rather than somebody from the inside? then this is proved further how, during the question and answer portion, he was so uptight in defending. he strongly asserted how this administration has been seriously fighting corruption. it was a good slap on the face in that argument when somebody asked something like, "if the adminsitration is serious about fighting corruption, then why they have saved erap from conviction." his response: (1) there are noble clamor, also on the part of the church, for erap to be set free, (2) he's beyond 70 years old. i could only laugh at this superficial and insufficient response.

i pity, those church workers who attended and who were easily swayed by their propaganda. they admitted that they first believed lozada and eventually shifted to discrediting him just because of the wiretapped conversations and the contrary version of the administration, while attacking the credibility of lozada.

i am not pro-lozada. i am pro-truth. and the truth is that corruption is rampant and prevalent in this administration, no matter how they would deny it. and the people know this. and the government would challenge us, why don't we file a case? they would always ask for evidences. where is the evidence? would somebody corrupting leave an evidence? would somebody asking for a "lagay" ask for an official receipt? and what if there are no evidence? then, they are clean!?!

i agree with fr. intengan at one point. we need a social reform. but the question is: where and how would this start? we would often clamor, "let's change the system. let's reform the society." i never thought that the system or the society has grown to be "beings" greatly paralyzing our lives. yet what makes up the system or the society are the people. the individuals. we. and let's take it more personally, "i."

Labels: events, philippines, politics, postnovitiate, reflection, social awareness, society

Posted by brodiz at 5:13 AM | Permalink | Comments

someone told me:

"you're spending a lot of time, attention and energy reviewing for the de universa. when it ended, what would be the use of all that?"

indeed, the de universa may not be everything in the postnovitiate, but it's replete with formative experiences i never imagined having.

we may forget everything we may have reviewed -- 60 theses from 6 treatises in 6 months.there might be no further use of it in our practical training. there might be a few use of it as a foundation in our theological formation. but, i see more and deeper values in this. more than the outcome or the usefulness, it's the formative process which one undergoes that is deemed necessary and important.

we all underwent the same preparation, the same pressure. we were all in this together. we supported each other. we prayed for one another. we shared our progress and difficulties and concerns and anxieties. we are all one in this. the result is not really important whether one becomes cum laude or not. we all passed as we have all struggled to pass. and by God's grace we all did it. i am proud to share this oneness with you.

Labels: formation, personal, philosophy, postnovitiate

Posted by brodiz at 5:44 AM | Permalink | Comments

i had to admit, i have never been so tensed in my life except for this one.
and i am happy that i have reached the end.
after the exam, i immediately went up to the adoration chapel and really shouted, "Thank you, Lord." I feel like crying while thanking Him for His providence, but I didn't. I am overwhelmed by His presence and grace. Inside the chapel, i feel like making my catharsis.

i cannot but praise and thank God.

among the answers i have given, after exposing the thesis of Divine Intelligence and while connecting it with Divine Wisdom, this struck me most:

"God knows me through and through, and for that He loves me."

I have been feeling that intensely now.
I pray that i may give back to God that same intensity,
or even at least close to that intensity,
to love Him.

But then, i really love you, Lord.

Labels: personal, philosophy, postnovitiate, prayer, talking within

Posted by brodiz at 7:51 AM | Permalink | Comments

i particularly pertain to the coffee maker.
i accidentally broke it this afternoon.
its glass shattered into pieces,
causing even cuts and scratches in my left arm and hand.

the implication: the end of the coffee days.
i'm sorry coffee lovers.
i suggest that you'd rather take "nescafe."

Labels: events, postnovitiate

Posted by brodiz at 4:52 PM | Permalink | Comments

i am amused and overwelmed how this coffee theme get to be associated with me especially on the occasion of my birthday. please allow me to explain.

it all started during christmas vacation, when eson fell in love with a koreanovela that prompted him to buy a dvd for the complete season of "coffee prince." he narrated to us the sleepless nights he endured just to finish the series before coming back to the seminary last january.

i would attest that he really fell in love with the story (in the minimal sense) that he would keep on narrating the synopsis and almost the whole plot of the story. one sunday, he brought the dvd to the seminary.

another significant incident leading to this was that "blessing" when our bro. gene had an appendectomy. i first volunteered to attend to him at the hospital. eson and i were fighting over the slot of attending to gene for some personal motives. that night was the first time i saw an episode of the coffee prince. and frankly, i really liked it.

after gene's discharge from the hospital, i get to be more curious and i asked eson if we could watch the serie. practically, there were now three of us so engrossed watching the koreanovela, with bro. jm joining and "kilig to the bones". hehehe...


without knowing or intending, the coffee bonded us together... i guess nobody else could relate, perhaps except our cook, since only the three of us have finished the story. and now our mouths are filled with "coffee" both in the literal and figurative sense.

indeed, the coffee prince has brought a lot of positive effects... that would include our inspiration and zeal to study more intensely, more passionately. it served as a break from our intellectual routine -- perhaps a saving grace for keeping our sanity intact.

i don't really drink coffee, but this "coffee prince" made me a regular taker. i am not sure what would be the further consequences of this.

and so, i feel that, when both eson and jm (my groupmates in the human formation tea) organized and prepared my birthday celebration, it's a party for the three of us... hehehe....

i really appreciate and enjoyed the experience of bringing "coffee prince" into the postnovitiate and transforming the refectory into the coffee shop. but what i most value are their translated acts of love and appreciation for my person, which i received as a "sent message" from them.
thanks, guys.

Labels: insights, personal, postnovitiate, random thoughts, reflection, talking within

Posted by brodiz at 5:25 PM | Permalink | Comments