Friday, July 08, 2011

i lament....

… the attacks against the alleged “PAJERO BISHOPS,” and the leading assassination of the Church as an institution… how the media selectively report partial truths to highlight negative impressions, to sow seeds of doubt and discord, to lead people to accuse.

… this unfair trial of media, feasting more on the recipients than the source of this mess, aggrandizing the 7 pajero bishops more than the 20 ambulance vice-governor and the like.

… the diabolical propaganda, the connivance and conspiracy to put down the credibility of the Church, for sponsoring “leading” polls against Her.

… the hasty generalization in branding the whole clergy as corrupt, accusing that every one of them is the same… to the neglect of those who have been and still are faithful, those who have worked so hard to help people, those who have offered themselves totally, those who struggled so much to be holy.

… those journalists, columnists, commentators and the reactive, who think they knew so much, who think they have seen the whole truth, who think they have judged rightly, who think they are saints, who even cursed and commented against the pope for his hands-off policy on the matter.

… those who were easily swayed, those planning to be inactive in the Church, planning to switch to other religions and denominations, those who have given up on their faith… just where is your faith anchored on?

… this cancer of politiking, this growing infection of blind involvement, and the stinging blows of indifference!

the least we could do is to be informed… let us not allow ourselves to be easily manipulated by the unfair lenses of media… let us be vigilant against the threats of our faith, the growing anti-clericalism, the vicious attacks against the Church. And above all, let us pray for deliverance against the workings of the evil one!

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

eulogy for lola

lola passed away on september 15, 2010 on the feast of our lady of sorrows at the age of 89, the last of my ancestors.

i was tasked to give eulogy in honor of lola before my family, relatives and friends. delivered on the 17th of this month, this eulogy runs as follows:

I’ve always known Lola as a good cook. It’s one of the many things, I believe, she was good at. Sobrang tagal na po since the last time I’ve tasted the food she personally cooked. I miss so much her beef stew, kilayin, her Chinese adobo, and the perfect asim of her sinigang. She takes pride in cooking, because I know, she cooks for others. She likes feeding her loved ones.

And this, perhaps, is the core of my sharing tonight, how Lola, in all her life, fed us all.

Lola, in the literal sense, fed us. Madalas po, di naming gusto ang ulam, tatakbo kay Lola sa kabilang bahay at doon po kami kakain. Syempre po, tuwang tuwa sa Lola dahil gusto naming kumain sa kanya sabay kutya kay mommy (sorry, ma!) And so I noticed talagang dinadagdagan niya ang pagluto ng ulam.

Lola fed us, materially. Hindi na po kaila sa inyo na siya ang takbuhan namin pag may mga pangangailangan kami. Most of us judged Lola as stingy… madalas ko po siyang nakikitang nagbibilang pera, every night. Then the following day, she would scold us demanding that we should conserve water, electricity and long-distance telephone usage. Pero kahit po ganito. Never na nagdamot po si Lola. Personally, I am forever indebted of her generosity, how the many times she would give some money to add up in my baon, the thoughtfulness of bringing home pasalubong coming from Manila or from a distant place she’s been, how she has contributed a lot into paying some of my tuition fees in my schooling. I cannot forget the many times po na namalimos sya para lang po may pang-enroll ako. That I am forever grateful.

Lola even fed us, beyond materially. He fed us with values formation. He taught us the value of self-respect and how to be respectable before others. She would never hesitate to correct us. When you did something wrong expect a long and critical scolding or sermon. Mukhang ito po yata ang dahilan kung bakit gusto ko po magpari, para ako naman ang babawi sa kanya sa pag-se-sermon (joke lang po!) Alam na po ng lahat na si Lola, mahilig kumatak… katak nang katak… pag nagsimula nap o sya mantakin nyo po na mukhang hindi na sya matatapos. Madalas po nakakarindi po ang pagkakakatak nya, parang gusto niyong pasakan nang packaging tape yung bibig niya. Pero natiis po namin siya ang mga pagkatak niya. Nasanay na po kami sa kanya. At tanggap po namin na ganun siya. Kaya ngayong wala na si Lola, isa po ito sa mga mami-miss ko sa kanya.

Lola fed us spiritually. She is very instrumental in my faith formation. Madalas po niya akong isama sa house to house block rosary ng Our Lady of Fatima kahit alam po niya na ang pakay ko lang po dun ay kumain. I remember her involving us to the chapel activities every Sunday at San Sebastian. Naging part po ako ng choir at sacristan ako dun. Alam ko po na natutuwa po siya sa pag-serve ko sa diocese, sa cathedral, sa DYCC, sa mga kabataan ng Tarlac. Di ko po makakalimutan yun sinabi niya sa’kin one time, “mamako kang mamako, lagi kang atiu king cathedral, ot e nakamu kaya magpari?” (alis ka nang alis. Lagi ka na lang nasa cathedral. Bakit di ka nalang magpari?) Who would have thought that trivial statement would soon become a reality? Nung una ko pong pina-alam sa kanya na gusto ko pumasok ng seminaryo, nagtaka lang po ako na di niya matanggap nung una. Eventually, she came to accept that. I remember when they accompanied me in my first day at seminary, she cried. And she has been very supportive in my vocation ever since. Every time I went to see her, she kept on asking me, “kapilan ka ma-ordain? Akit da ka pa kaya ma-ordain?” (Kailan ka ma-o-ordain, makikita pa ba kita na ma-o-ordain?)

In all honesty, gusto ko pa po syang mabuhay at least on the day of my ordination. Gusto ko po sana na ako yung magbibigay ng last sacraments sa kanya. Gusto ko po sana ako yung magmimisa at magsesermon sa lamay at libing niya. But now, this is no longer the case.

For sure, she will witness my ordination in heaven. All the while I thought this is the best gift I could give her. Until her last moments… when I visited her at St. Lukes she gave her last habilin… surprisingly, in English. She never talks to me in English, but she gave her last words to me saying, “Rusty, be faithful when you become a priest. Be faithful to Christ.” Until her last moments she kept on teaching me. It’s the best learning I received from her… It is not my ordination that is the best gift for her. Rather, it is my faithfulness to my vocation.

Lola, I will forever treasure this thought. Until I die, my best gift for you is never accomplished, for my faithfulness extends until we see each other again in Heaven. Lola, thank you very, very, very, very, very much. I know and I believe you are resting with God in Heaven, and now we turn to you to pray for us, to intercede for us. As you and Lolo await us in Heaven to organize the grandest reunion of our family. There are no goodbye’s Lola, only “until we all meet again.” We love you, Lola.

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

thanking God for this amazing...

what a day?

woke up cold and sleepy, but i gotta do what i do because i want to.
but when it comes to the day's itinerary in mind, i didn't mind.
i ended up doing what i've been meaning to do for a long time, to take my time.
twice i sought to acquire, and when i did, i never really had it.
and when i wanted to go, i got stuck, then led me to forego.
on my knees i struggled to feel, but how can that be if i am not open to unfill?

yet despite all these, i choose to let be,
to continue, and that God's hands I may see.
in the end, i end up thanking thee!

inspired by the poet, ee cummings,
his poem, that hits me, i didn't see coming!
thus, borrowing...

i thank you God for most this amazing
by E. E. Cummings
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
wich is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

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Wednesday, June 09, 2010


this is not in view of the upcoming holiday...
i'd just like to "pen" down my thoughts regarding this.

a drop of water may lose its identity as it joins the ocean, but never a man in society. he is born not for the development of society alone but for the development of himself (ambedkar).

the more independent a person is, the better he can influence others and his surroundings. he won't be lost in the society, but rather, he can transform it. society as the usual scapegoat, therefore, must never be blamed. overemphasis on our social nature often keeps us astray from ourselves. even Jesus taught us, "love your neighbor AS yourself" (mk 12:31). this is not just about measuring the love of others by the love of oneself. it is by knowing, growing in, and transforming ourselves that gives an effective connectedness to others. people who are more independent are more connected.

i may be a drop of water in the ocean, but a drop so distinct, and hopes to make a difference!

Friday, June 04, 2010


now that i have finished my two-years of active apostolic experience, i commit myself again for a regular (that is up to me ) engagement of introspection, observation, commentary, and loud-thinking in the blogosphere! boy, i missed this so much!

Sunday, March 01, 2009

on failing and trying

a thought i got from this sunday's reflection:

"i've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, i've lost almost 300 games. twenty six times i've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. i've failed over and over and over in my life. and that's why i succeed!"

-- michael jordan

all we remember are his stats:

six-time nba champion (1991-1993, 1996-1998)
mvp (1988, 1991, 1992, 1996, 1998)
ten-time all nba first-team designation
ten scoring tiles, three steals titles
a finalist to be inducted in the basketball hall of fame
and many others...

yet, nobody remembers or cared about the number of times he failed, just what he achieved.

while people are driven by success, and employ the necessary means to get there, this drive would seem to blind us of the fact that we are not born perfect. and so comes the shattering feelings when failures and disappointments surface.

we are either consumed by it...
feeling wrecked and hopeless, viewing life as difficult, harsh and unfair.

or, we get up from it...
and see that mistakes and failures are means of improvement, stepping stones for success. michael jordan would surpass "himself" each day by constant practice, a.k.a. self discipline.

this example leads us to a particular attitude in this season of lent: self discipline.

we don't view the lenten season as a schedule of the Church, nor just a reminder of the paschal mystery. it is an opportunity for us to reflect, to look upon our weaknesses, our failures, our sinfulness, and develop in us that self-discipline; to overcome our failures in order to share into the success of Christ, His resurrection.

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

fully booked: more books to read

while waiting last night for the last full show of valkyrie at powerplant mall, we decided to stop by fully booked. my passion for books flared once more especially as i engage and exchange conversations with two other book lovers: fr. gigi and fr. marty.

here are some of the books i've been wanting to read and eventually be a part of my collection:

The Power of Now

it's a spirituality self-help book aiming for: transformation of human consciousness, enlightenment or radical inner transformation -- less intellectual, more experiential.

The Starbucks Experience

author joseph michelli immersed himself at starbucks to study teh various levels on how the company succeeds and eventually coming up with the five principles for turning the ordinary into extraordinary. it sounds very salesian... "do you ordinary duties, extraordianrily well."


egonomics or self-management is a practical book that suggests a balancing of self-development and common good. it explores both the warning signs that ego is playing a negative role in planning and decision making as well as examples of ego playing a positive role at work.

they're really expensive books.
i hope somebody gives me any of these on my birthday.
just wishing anyway!

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the art of war

currently reading...

sun tzu's the art of war, edited and with a foreword by james clavell.

"If you know both yourself and your enemy,
you can come out of hundreds of battles without danger."

-- sun tzu

it's one of the oldest books in military strategy. yet beyond the pages of these chinese military tactics are gems of wisdom applicable to wherever you are -- designed for handling conflicts. one can actually wage a war without getting into the battle.

advices may be archaic, but its relevance will be based on one's personal experience. insights afterall are personal.

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About me


Calamba, Laguna, Philippines

I am a pilgrim by life's occupation, an accountant by bachelor's degree, a Tarlaqueño by place of birth, a Salesian by specific vocation, a teacher by profession, a student by formation, a writer by passion, a youth minister by life's mission, a son of God... My Philosophy of Life: "To be is to become" "To be is to hope"

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