Selfishness and Disobedience
This evening I disobeyed my formator inadvertently. He instructed me not to distribute yet the handouts which I had photocopied for my companions. I, nevertheless, distribute them in order to avoid additional piles of paper stacked on my desk which is so messy and disorganized. Few minutes later, he came confronting me. “Did I not instruct you to hold first the handouts for distribution to the brothers?” I only nodded. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. He just looked at me, then turned his back and left. This is my first case of disobedience this year. I really felt so bad, not because of fear from my formator, but by the very act of disobeying in contrary to the vow I have professed. Disobedience is not about omission. Disobedience is rooted from selfishness. And I have seen this so strong in me. God, help me to cure my narcissistic attitude and let this “self” be an offering to You.
